Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Gaslighting: A term that's new to me


After a 1944 where a man tries to convince a woman she's crazy by manipulating the gas lights in their home.

Now the word gaslighting is a fairly modern term about a certain type of abusive relationships. Robin Stern describes it as where one member blows off the other's concerns as "you're so sensitive", and "don't be neurotic". At work it's often just been categorised as "bullying" but it might be more complex.

Dr Stern's "self check" list to work out if you're in the "gaslighting" spiral is:

1. You are constantly second-guessing yourself
2. You ask yourself, "Am I too sensitive?" a dozen times a day.
3. You often feel confused and even crazy at work.
4. You're always apologizing to your mother, father, boyfriend,, boss.
5. You can't understand why, with so many apparently good things in your life, you aren't happier.
6. You frequently make excuses for your partner's behavior to friends and family.
7. You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don't have to explain or make excuses.
8. You know something is terribly wrong, but you can never quite express what it is, even to yourself.
9. You start lying to avoid the put downs and reality twists.
10. You have trouble making simple decisions.
11. You have the sense that you used to be a very different person - more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed.
12. You feel hopeless and joyless.
13. You feel as though you can't do anything right.
14. You wonder if you are a "good enough" girlfriend/ wife/employee/ friend; daughter.
15. You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don't have to explain or make excuses.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

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