I saw a Facebook post today that said
"I try not to judge because I know how screwed up I am, myself."
But I chose not to share the post. I was afraid of the roars of derision from people who think they know me. But I still like the idea that the comment is true. But that means I need to explore the idea of judging.
For sure I have strong opinions on many (most) things when it comes to what I think makes sense. I think it makes sense to put things on the shopping list when we run out, to keep your tires inflated at a safe level, to look before you cross the road, to not smoke cigarettes. I think that for me, they are good choices.
I even strongly believe doing these things are sensible ways to live your life. Perhaps that's where people get the idea that I'm judging them.
For sure - choosing not to look before you cross the road is not sensible. If you press me on what I think of you then I might say "well I don't think it's clever not to look before you cross the road".
But, ffs I have so much else to think about. I really am not spending any time on you. There are a whole bunch of things that are not even on my radar - you may be gay, vegan, meat eater, duck shooter - and it's a choice that has totally nothing to do with me. You may do things that I think would be unhelpful for myself - like smoking cigarettes - but it's not my life.
I suppose I sometimes do make judgement calls but I assure you I'm thinking about you way less than you think and when I do, I like to think I most often arrive at "no decision".