Thursday, July 7, 2016

I give everyone something, even if it's just someone to hate

I know a certain type of person whose only means of motivating themself is to identify an adversary and then make it their mission to stick it to that adversary. I have been that person myself before but I'm tired. So tired.

My entire private energy seems to be spent building a quiet place inside and around myself where I don't have to negotiate the clamouring demands of dozens of other people. That's what I do to put food on my family's table, so I don't need to spend my private time being concerned with other people.

But for some people, resentment is the fuel in their tank. For a very few, I am the focus of that resentment. I wish it were different, but I'll be of service in any way I can.

The brilliant 1962 novel by James Clavell spoke about Corporal King - or "King Rat" in a WW2 prison camp in Singapore. Because he was a wheeler and dealer, cpl King had good food, good clothes and all sorts of comforts while the others went hungry. Pursued by Lt Grey, the provost marshal, the last lines of the book described the mindset of a person driven by resentment:
[last lines]
Peter Marlowe: [speaking about King] It wouldn't have occurred to you would it, Grey, that you're only alive because of what he gave you? 
Lt. Robin Grey: What are you talking about? I never took anything from him. He never gave me anything. 
Peter Marlowe: Only hate, Grey. Only hate. 

Often we grow out of this. I did. Then again I've been around a few older people who continue to live in that world of jealousy and resentment.

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