Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Thw world is round - a regret of my own

There are plenty of quotes about how if one has never failed one has never tried. I also think that if one has no regrets they've either never extended themselves or they're a psychopath.

I have many regrets in the number increases every month. Generally about 5 years after whatever incident caused the harm.

While I'm not into self-flagellation I hope that a simple statement of "I regret that" is enough for me to move on and for the injured parties to say "well he is a prick but at least he knows he is".

One thing I regret - possibly my greatest regret - is the extremely hurtful letter I sent to my father back in about 1989 just before Christmas. Perhaps it takes a lifetime to recognise that we are all just dumbfucks trying to wade through life, and just because somebody's behaviour is causing you problems they are not necessarily on a mission to make your life hell. There's a very good chance that they are in a hell of their own.

Sure my core argument of "I didn't choose for my parents marriage to break up and now I'm allowed to survive it anyway I like" is something I still stand by today. But I can also accept that my dad was in a hell of his own. When a friend of his said to me at the time "he's a good man" I can see now that he was also a man under siege.

I can see all that now. The world is round; Karma is a thing.

1 comment:

  1. I never knew. So it wasn't just me that sent a letter I later regretted. Under seige makes sense and with age comes wisdom.

    ReplyDelete