You know what drives me? It's a desire to live well despite a number of what I feel are deep betrayals. The deepest betrayals are where I have (explicitly or figuratively) sat in front of people and said "one day this shit is going to go down and when it does I'm gonna need you to stand by me. Are you down with that, will you be there for me?"
And then they weren't.
To live well despite the betrayals of that dozen or so people is my goal.
I have so many good friends and a dozen or so ex-friends.