Friday, April 20, 2012

The best partnership of my life

Somebody said that "the secret of life is to marry well".

I agree. I married well.

22 years ago. April 21, 1990.

By "marry well" I mean way more. I mean "choose your allegiances well". My cousin is in a long term relationship that has gone as long as mine and Sylvia's - and he can't call that "married". Yet. And his is an outstanding example of a similar great choice.

But if it's important to pick our battles, it's bloody important to pick our allies. I saw my parents divorce when I was 19, so I knew it only made sense to think of it as "one shot in the locker". For other reasons, Sylvia is equally as bloody minded.

And now there are three more Habels in the game, it's all the more serious.

But the old story goes "if you're thinking about marrying a girl look at her mother". Tick. But my take on it is "if you're thinking of locking into something serious with anyone, look at the family". And it has never failed me.

On the flip side I brought a pretty solid bunch of Habels/Crouts to the game. Her is mum (Catherine) and beloved (late) auntie Yvonne at a family function.

Yvonne showed me the lesson I still struggle to make any ground with. Insight does not have to mean cynicism

Recently my abject failures - in retrospect - were easily foreseen with the rule I mentioned - about looking to the family if you plan to get serious. My greatest successes, too.

So back to the "getting married" bit. We went of on a honeymoon

And eight years later started with little Habels. Just as we'd always wanted.

Blessed. With extended family, friends, health (so far) and a bloodyminded determination that this will work.

There is no cutaway handle on the marriage tandem harness. So let's make sure we're serious about doing the whole jump with this person before we strap up.

And my choice to get married to Sylvia at 23 is the smartest thing I've ever done. I found mine early. And I've hung on.

We all have our own paths. This has been mine so far.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

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