Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Anything but independent

I like to think I'm fiercely independent. I'm walking out of RAH after a major pelvic fracture, I'm maintained my marking responsibilities for a certain employer, managed to hold together a course that I was supposed to run in Singapore tomorrow.

Truth be known, if I walk tall it's all due to family and friends. I have dozens of people I can call if I need to. And it gives me the luxury of the illusion of independence.

  • My kids will never go hungry or uncared for, because of my in-laws and brother/sister/mother. Bless that.
  • My personal need for friendship will never go unfulfilled thanks to my nuclear family.
  • My insane need for freedom and fun has hundreds of people who "get it" from within skydiving.
  • My voracious appetite to learn is always satisfied with students that I meet, teach, research and keep in touch with.
  • My wife just keeps coping with me and without trying to, makes me a better person.

So if my demeanor seems to say "I don't need you" it's signalling entirely wrong. It should read "fuck I need you all, let's just not dwell on it". And I will forever be in your debt for allowing me to keep it low key. Here are some of my cloaked methods of asking for help and some friends' responses from the last week:

Monday, SMS to Sylvia from Murray Bridge Hospital:
"Hey please contact me when convenient to you. I've got a bit of an injury. All fine but it involves hospitals."

Fri SMS from Jason (skydiving) to me:
"Hey mate. You ring me anytime. Shit happens and skydiving isn't everything. YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!!! and that's all that matters. I mean it dude you ring me! I'll come and see ya tomorrow OK! You can't stop me. Love ya knob head"

He's the guy who's been saying for nine months now "don't bury yourself! I just got you back"

I responded:
"wanna come around sometime today? Tas is welcome too but otherwise it's nobody else but Sylv or the kids. You're my bestie."

Friday phone message to Marziah at work:
"Hi it's taken a while for me to get this all together but can we talk soon about next week's Singapore deal? It's gonna get messy and I hope we can start on this early before it gets really critical on Tuesday"

If I walk tall it's because I know I go with the friendship of dozens of people, all of who will be there, get there, or get the problem fixed. I just have to ask.

When I do ask, you'll be reminded that you are the fuel in my tank.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad