It has been over a couple of months since mum died. She left the world with a whole bunch of bad feelings towards her siblings. I could let those feelings sit with her as she'd tell me about them - I didn't need to own them. Somebody's business with their brothers and and sisters should remain their own. I have plenty of my own history with my uncles - I have been able to develop my own thoughts without mum's help.
But mum's dying wish was that "the shit stopped with her". She desperately hoped that the sons and daughters of her and her brothers could go past whatever their parents left behind. Yesterday was a great step towards that. My brother is getting married soon and as a "Buck's Day do" we raced some go-karts, hit some golf balls, fired pistols at the range and had some dinner.
And I was delighted that Judd, Darcy and Tully Crout, as well as Scott came out for various parts of the day. Here's a photo of some of us at the range.
Some long discussions over dinner helped give me hope. The crap can stop with her. The previous generation can deal with all their stuff, or not. I'm happy to leave them to it, but I really enjoyed seeing my cousins and I think they are high quality people.
I think there's a way forward.