Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Success is not about offloading your problems onto others...

Perhaps it's because I have a few around me who have yet to learn it. Perhaps I'm just old and grumpy and forgot what I was like at that age. Probably that.

But if there's one thing age has given me, it's a very clear head on what I respect and what I don't. And what I don't respect is this approach to solving a problem:

  1. I have a problem
  2. I find a way to turn my problem into your problem
  3. You solve your problem
  4. My problem is solved

I think it starts in early childhood. When I was a newborn baby, everything was my parents' problem. Quite simply, I'd die if my parents didn't feed me and protect me. Big trouble for them. As I got older my parents still had a responsibility for me. Feed me, school me, roof over my head. My needs were their problem - to some degree. I suppose it's natural for all of us to confuse needs and wants - and if the line is too blurred I suppose that's where people begin to act entitled.

I've mostly managed to check myself when watching some young people and resisted the urge to say "you don't hear the word 'no' very often, do you?".

Schoolteachers - at times - are held responsible for kids' learning at school, even if the kids are there under sufferance. Not only are they expected to lead their pupils to water but force them to drink.

I think "management courses" have a lot to answer for. It's all about "making things happen" but there is often not enough recognition that "if it's to be, it's up to me" or in the world of Terminator 2: "There's no fate but what we make."

Or at the very most those ideas are just abstract concepts to many people.

I'm reasonably OK when people are dependent on others and just deal with it. But I do find it irksome when I see people who trumpet their independence but do nothing to create the wealth that they're sharing in.

Big tip: It's not a "job" to find some new legal loophole or benefit that you can receive when you're not providing anything of value in return. I don't know what it is, but it's not a workable system.

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