Monday, April 10, 2017

The power of "ding"

I recall a Facebook group that I didn't join that was titled "I secretly want to slap slow-walking people in the back of the head".

Currently in a country of 5 million people I swear it feels that they are 4 million 999 thousand 999 people that are getting in my way. Perhaps that is more about me but I am frustrated when people seem to be isolated in the bubble of their own. Looking at a phone, looking up at a tall building reading a book or just being generally vague.

When I come up behind a vague slow walker and try to find a way past I am often met with some indignant "excuse me is not that hard to say".

"Yeh but - hey, fuck you" is what I feel more like saying. "You're the one dawdling, you're the one who has no idea of the - just minor - irritation you're creating for people who know where they want to go. You should be asking me to excuse you".

A slap on the back of the head should totally be acceptable.

So, much like a cyclist on a shared path I've taken to "dinging". As I come up behind a dawdler I say the word "ding" and when the people turn around I provide a huge warm smile as I walk by.

I've even had more aware members of dawdling parties grin back at me. Dinging will probably keep me out of police lock up. But my fixation on these things really says more about me. I am the cringemaster.

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