I realised that I am taken with doing pointless exercises.
In high school while the class was trying to learn how to do something I worked out days before, I would build word puzzles or draw pictures of fighter jets or geometric shapes.
All were pointless and all ended up in scrap.
But there's a beautiful symmetry to that, like building a sandcastle on the foreshore, or even an ice sculpture.
So much of what I do these days ends up being ultimately a pointless exercise. I build courses and create huge levels of student satisfaction for a school in a university that doesn't seem to care about me. I write protocols which are excellent and then somebody else takes the credit for them. I write A journal publications that get published in the year after I get sacked.
I become really good at falling out of a plane in a way that nobody really understands or cares about.
But I think that really suits me. Because I am taken with doing pointless exercises.
And then it's over. So the journey is all there is, as well as what you leave behind.