Why bad people leave a place with good references

To me, it's no great mystery. I have watched workplaces for 35 years and I have come to understand the mechanism whereby some of the very worst people end up getting glowing reports from previous employers. Here are my thoughts:

• They manage upwards. Often the people who are giving these references have been schmoozed to the maximum level. From where the boss sits, it all looks fine.
• The full extent of the damage has not become apparent. The malignant narcissist can keep a lid on the crap while they are still around. It's only after they have left that the remaining people begin to see a pattern and put the pieces together.
• They look good on paper. Often these most obnoxious people tend to get results according to somebody's key performance indicators. Whether the bosses are deliberately turning a blind eye or just perfectly hoodwinked, the malignant narcissist can appear to be a star.
• They discredit any critiques. There are dozens of people who know the real story about the malignant narcissist however those stories do not get heard. A complex pattern of marginalising their rivals creates a conspiracy of silence.
• They talk a good game. To anybody watching from a distance these people are often engaging and positive. It is really easy to do that when you are standing in front of a meeting or just back-slapping in the hallway.
• Some people remain to fight the rearguard. Whether the rearguard is made up of previous favourites or people who are still scared - there is often somebody left to act as a mole. The conspiracy of silence continues.
• People are happy to see them go. Finally, sometimes the bosses just want the malignant narcissist out of there. They have been a problem for years - a problem they just didn't seem to have a solution. And now here is this same person requesting a reference; a perfect answer. "They are fantastic - their record speaks for itself".

Except "the record" doesn't even begin to tell the story. Still, by that time the malignant narcissist is somebody else's problem.

The "holier than thou" two for one deal

I've recently noticed an interesting trait in human behaviour. It's the tendency to take what I call the 2 for 1 deal about moral behaviour. My dead Mum made the obervation a long time ago about vegetarians.

I've recently seen similar behaviour in myself around body weight, and I have noticed it in non smokers for a long time. This two for one deal comes when a person makes a decision for their own reasons and then a little later on realises that there is also an ethical dimension do that decision that they hadn't noticed.

So I have decided to go off alcohol in the lead up to a sporting event, which has caused me to lose a few kilos. That's very nice for me, however I get this tiny flicker when I see somebody who is out of shape it has me think "how can a person let themselves get that way?". Of course the answers are complex, and who the fuck am I to judge? That's why I call the holier-than-thou two for one deal.

Mum had noticed this when people gave up eating meat - mostly because they just didn't like it, or could take it or leave it. Soon after, however, Mum would hear these people counting the virtues of vegetarianism and veganism because of animal ethics and impact on the planet, amongst other things. The two for one deal.

Strange people, us humans.

Why do young Army guys seem to be so unreliable?

This is just an observation of mine and more just a feeling I have the than any hard data. I work with people from many different walks of life and I would have sought that people from the army were reliable. I have certainly found that the older army guys are like clockwork. They say what they're going to do and then they do what they say they're going to do. Not so much the young Army guys. A number of times I have had them simply not turn up. I don't include a young guy from one of my teams in that mix because in that case it has been the army making demands on him. But in terms of just turning up when you say you are going to turn up I had a bunch of army guys just not do so. A couple of times. I can only put it down to the fact that there is such a strong external discipline. So when these guys are young they end up being told what to do and screamed at if they don't do it. If they are not being screamed at and threatened with being put on report comma perhaps they just go a little slack. But the fact that the older guys are such good operators gives me hope. Perhaps it is just as simple as the external discipline rubs off over time and it becomes a sense of order and internal discipline. Who knows?

My are men avoiding marriage?

1. He'll lose respect
2. He'll lose out on sex
3. He'll lose his friends
4. He'll lose his space
5. He could lose his kids and his money: And they may not even be his kids! 
6. He'll lose in court
7. He could lose his freedom
8. Single life is better than ever

Population trends only. I'm not talking about my (or your) marriage.

https://www.keen.com/CommunityServer/UserBlogPosts/Alternative_Information/8-Reasons-Straight-Men-Are-Avoiding-Marriage-and-Commitment/763445.aspx

Her: "You don't believe that, do you?"
Him: [deer in headlights] _mutter_ "fuck you, Cullen"

Inconsiderate as a smoker

There's a certain lack of respect that just seems to travel with being a smoker. That's not to say that if you smoke you are a pig, but I do find some of the most inconsiderate behaviours are related to smoking. Sure, there is the simple fouling of everybody's air for a 5 m radius (and that is at least the radius) but there's also this flagrant littering that goes on.

Somebody once told me that a single cigarette can kill all of the earthworms within a square metre of where it gets thrown down although that sounds a little overstated. But for f***** sake it is litter.

Cigarette butts are not biodegradable and they won't just compost down. I feel sorry for the smokers who really do think of other people and the general environment, because there seems to be a lot of pigs out there as well.